Friday, April 16, 2010

Making Sense



Our little grandson, Christopher, was born last night, six weeks early.  He took all of us by surprise.  He left this world as quickly as he came into it.  This time last year, things were much as they are now, at least in terms of how many of us in our family. But how different it is now…

I firmly believe that if something happens, it has passed through God first and got His divine “O. K.”  He doesn’t do things haphazardly.  He gave us this baby, never intending for us to keep him.  Even considering all this, I still can’t help but wonder why.  Why are there two devastated parents, taking life one minute at a time?  Several grandparents who feel so helpless… Why are family dynamics making a terrible situation worse?  God is asking us to go through an awful set of circumstances.  There’s a reason, and I wish I knew what it was.  Perhaps this time next year I’ll be able to look back and see how God used this tiny little child to accomplish something that needed to be accomplished.

In the meantime, I’m grateful for the Kick In The Pants that God so often gives us when we need it.  Just last week, after putting it off for so long, we decided to schedule a 4D ultrasound.   Now, these are our only pictures of Christopher alive.  Thank God He didn’t let us procrastinate any longer.  

We’ll continue to try to make sense out of this, but I have a feeling it’s going to take a lot of time.  And in the meantime, faith will have to bridge the gap.