It seems to be missing. It started trying to escape yesterday, and I kept grabbing it and pulling it back, but every time I let my guard down, it was slipping out the door again. It finally broke loose and away it went, and I haven’t seen it since.
Every time I read about how God wants women to have a Gentle Spirit, I wonder why, then, didn’t He give me one? Instead, I got a strong-willed, oftentimes surly and cantankerous spirit, short on patience, and long on wanting what I want, when I want it.
Most of the time, I can do what a gentle spirit does. I’d have to give myself a good, solid “B” for effort, but the situation reminds me of the phrase “putting lipstick on a pig.” Every so often, when I’ve had my fill of whatever life is dishing out, my Gentle Spirit heads for the door, and the Pig, sans lipstick, takes over.
I have to wonder, is there a point at which you quit doing what a gentle spirit does, and start becoming what a gentle spirit is? Does it take practice? Have I come farther than it seems? Is the battle ever really won, or will that pig always be waiting in the shadows?
I have a hunch that prayer and perseverance are the answers. And that the pig is always waiting.