Our little grandson, Christopher, was born last night, six weeks early. He took all of us by surprise. He left this world as quickly as he came into it. This time last year, things were much as they are now, at least in terms of how many of us in our family. But how different it is now…
I firmly believe that if something happens, it has passed through God first and got His divine “O. K.” He doesn’t do things haphazardly. He gave us this baby, never intending for us to keep him. Even considering all this, I still can’t help but wonder why. Why are there two devastated parents, taking life one minute at a time? Several grandparents who feel so helpless… Why are family dynamics making a terrible situation worse? God is asking us to go through an awful set of circumstances. There’s a reason, and I wish I knew what it was. Perhaps this time next year I’ll be able to look back and see how God used this tiny little child to accomplish something that needed to be accomplished.
In the meantime, I’m grateful for the Kick In The Pants that God so often gives us when we need it. Just last week, after putting it off for so long, we decided to schedule a 4D ultrasound. Now, these are our only pictures of Christopher alive. Thank God He didn’t let us procrastinate any longer.
We’ll continue to try to make sense out of this, but I have a feeling it’s going to take a lot of time. And in the meantime, faith will have to bridge the gap.
It is that. I had a younger brother and he had a much younger brother who came one day on my mothers birthday and left the same day. but he was never forgotten. I doubt my mother got to hold him. She was put under for him as she did all her others. In his case something was messed up with his stomach and insides. Absent but his place was still there. My youngest brother was never the baby of the family though I thought he was.
ReplyDeleteIt happened that my son was scheduled for cesarean birth but came early. I told the doctor, "I don't want him born on my birthday, cause I might loose him" thinking of my mothers last birth ......... in the end aftermuch pain, I took confidence and let my son come on my birthday. And my son has found that to be a mixed blessing. [smile.
I also believe that little trial, the pleasure of pregnancy gives one more experience.
I feel so bad for the mothers who don't get to see their babies - one minute they're pregnant, then they're sleeping, then they aren't pregnant anymore when they wake up. And the doctors just "take care of it," no doubt with the best of intentions, but I have had so many women tell me that it has haunted them the rest of their lives. No memories, no grave site, nothing. I am so grateful that things are done differently now.
ReplyDeleteI know that is how it was. Cause in biology they told us the odds of this or that happening, with blue eyes and brown eyes, etc. I remember asking if this brother had brown eyes or brown hair, I think she hedged. I took it as a confirmation of the brown eyes, but think she really did not get a look. as you say, it was taken care of. Sorry for your loss.
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